Elder law attorneys spend as much time helping caregivers reduce their stress as they do assisting and advising on long term care planning options for a client.  Research has shown that caregivers are starting to die sooner than the person to whom they are providing care! 

With this in mind, I present to you a Bill Of Rights for Caregivers that was given to me by an alzheimers support group recently.  Hope you caregivers reading this take ALL the advise; without you, the “patient/spouse/loved one” will not get the care they need and deserve.  Here goes:

1.  Take Care of Yourself.  This is not an act of selfishness.  It will enable you to take better care of your loved one.

2.  Seek help from others.  You need to recognize your limitations ( one of my favorite Clint Eastwood lines).  You are not less of a person asking for help.

3.  Maintain facets of your own life that do not include the person you are caring for, just as you would if the person were not ill.  You know you do everything within reason for your loved one; take time for yourself!

4.  To get angry and frustrated.  Let it out!  If you are depressed, let it show and get help if you need it.  You are not weak requesting help.

5.  To reject any attempt by your loved one to (either consciously or unconsciously) manipulate youthrough guilt, anger and depression.  Don’t get sucked in to someone making you feel bad because they do. 

6.  To take pride in the accomplishments you make.  Give yourself a “pat on the back.”

7.  Protect your right to make a life for yourself so you have hobbies and things to do when your loved one no longer requires all your time.

I hope caregivers reading this will take these rights and suggestions to heart.  Have a good day!  Robert Morgan