It is not unusal to have a will or trust prepared in our office where the client requests that in the event they are not married or if they die without spouse or children that a parent receive some or all of their estate.  This could be a case of “watch out what you wish for” if your parents are entering or already are in their retirement years.

The easiest way to lose a government benefit under social security, including long term care benefits under the Medicaid program which pays for nursing home and some other types of skilled care, is receiving an inheretence!

Certain government benefits programs, such as Medicaid, look at a person’s “countable resources” to determine program eligibility.  The receipt of a gift or inheretence that puts a person over the $2,000 of countable resources ( this isn’t much) will cause an immediate loss of long term care benefits!

The way to correct this problem is to use a Third Party Special Needs Trust.  Leaving your parents or older loved ones property in such a trust allows your gift to supplement the govenment benefits; not supplant them.  Since long term care costs can run over $8,000 per year, merely using this type of trust in your estate plan allows you to still leave a gift and not cause a parent or older loved one from losing their benefits and insurance under the Medicaid program. 

Elder law attorneys spend as much time helping caregivers reduce their stress as they do assisting and advising on long term care planning options for a client.  Research has shown that caregivers are starting to die sooner than the person to whom they are providing care! 

With this in mind, I present to you a Bill Of Rights for Caregivers that was given to me by an alzheimers support group recently.  Hope you caregivers reading this take ALL the advise; without you, the “patient/spouse/loved one” will not get the care they need and deserve.  Here goes:

1.  Take Care of Yourself.  This is not an act of selfishness.  It will enable you to take better care of your loved one.

2.  Seek help from others.  You need to recognize your limitations ( one of my favorite Clint Eastwood lines).  You are not less of a person asking for help.

3.  Maintain facets of your own life that do not include the person you are caring for, just as you would if the person were not ill.  You know you do everything within reason for your loved one; take time for yourself!

4.  To get angry and frustrated.  Let it out!  If you are depressed, let it show and get help if you need it.  You are not weak requesting help.

5.  To reject any attempt by your loved one to (either consciously or unconsciously) manipulate youthrough guilt, anger and depression.  Don’t get sucked in to someone making you feel bad because they do. 

6.  To take pride in the accomplishments you make.  Give yourself a “pat on the back.”

7.  Protect your right to make a life for yourself so you have hobbies and things to do when your loved one no longer requires all your time.

I hope caregivers reading this will take these rights and suggestions to heart.  Have a good day!  Robert Morgan